Real World Aliyah 101 or Realistic Expectations

Everyone warned me that the first six months after making Aliyah would be terrible- I’d be miserable missing my old community, family and friends and dealing with “rude” Israelis. Now that I’m here though, I feel completely at peace- like I’ve finally come home. Is there something wrong with me?

I’ve dreamed about making Aliyah for years- from the moment I first saw Israel as a child I knew this was where I belonged. So why have I spent my first two weeks as an Oleh crying about the friends and family I’ve left behind?

These scenarios are just two examples of the responses we get at NBN when we ask Olim the deceptively simple question of, “How are you?” Why is it that fulfilling the Aliyah dream can cause such a myriad range of reactions?

At Nefesh B’Nefesh we obviously believe in the ideal of Aliyah, that Israel is the homeland of the Jewish people. At the same time we want our Olim to actualize this ideal with their eyes wide open- and that means being fully aware of the enormous complexity of Aliyah.

Think about the people in your life that are the most important to you- your parents, your significant other, your children. Now think about the feelings those relationships evoke in you- most likely you’ll be assaulted by a cascade of emotions, from love to anger to everything in between. Why is that? Because the more depth of attachment we have with someone, the more complex our reactions become to that person.

When you make Aliyah, you are entering into a relationship with a wonderful, amazing entity- the Land of Israel. You know this land, you know it’s right for you, and you’re committed to building your life with it. That’s the foundation of your decision to make Aliyah.

But just like any relationship, there will be days when Israel will make your hear soar and there will be days when you can’t stand the sight of it. Does that mean you don’t belong in this relationship? No more than an argument means that a couple is headed for divorce.

Is there something wrong with you if you’re experiencing a roller coaster of emotions? Absolutely not! It simply means that by choosing to come on Aliyah you’ve entered into a relationship that will bring you all the joy and growth and complexity of the other relationships in your life.

Knowing and accepting this will go a long way towards ensuring that your relationship with Israel is a long and wonderful one.