Aliyah and Your Marriage

Relocating. Changing jobs. Packing and moving. What do they all have in common? Beside for being major life changes, they are also among the three top stresses a marriage can experience.

Making Aliyah involves all three- and that’s only the beginning. It’s no wonder then that many marriages suffer under the strain of changes brought on by Aliyah. Here are some tips that can help yours sail through the transition.

Marriage is Also a Task – Aliyah may seem like an endless To Do list of new experiences and things. Among all the shopping and running around from office to office, don’t forget to pay attention to the most important thing you’re bringing with you to Israel- your marriage. Take fifteen minutes on even the most hectic day to sit down with your spouse for a cup of coffee. The time you spend connecting with each other will more than pay for itself in the feeling that with all that is new your relationship with each other remains a constant, steady support.

Respect Your Differences – Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus- even in Israel. In all probability you and your spouse will have different reactions to some or even all aspects of Aliyah. Acknowledging these differences is important, supporting your spouse no matter how different from you they may be feeling is critical. Remember there is no right way to feel about Aliyah. The transition is difficult enough without your spouse feeling that there’s something wrong with them because they’re not feeling the same things you are.

Aliyah+Marriage: Before the Big Move
Aliyah+Marriage: After We've Landed
Tune iN to this Two part program highlighting the effects of Aliyah on marriage before and after the "leap of faith". Clinical psychologist, Dr. Dodi Tobin walks us through the evolving dynamics between husband and wife and offers tips to strengthen the bonds that bind us during what can be a very trying time.

The Tortoise and The Hare – The pace of Aliyah is different for everyone. Some people take to life in Israel immediately, while for others it’s a long, slow journey until all the pieces fall into place. This can be particularly hard on a couple when one is thriving while the other is limping along. Be sensitive to the pace of your spouse’s Klitah- it may be very different from your own.

Taking the above issues into consideration can go a long way to ensuring that your marriage makes the move to Israel as intact as your carefully packed China.